"I dream of a hard and brutal mysticism in which the naked self merges with the nonhuman world and somehow survives...Paradox and bedrock."-Edward Abbey

04 March 2010

The Carmera Eyes and the Mirror Lies

Well now, I have been given some fifteen minutes of...something. In case ya'll ever wondered about some of my damage, because, after all, we're all messy;


When we were doing this, as evidenced by the images, there was a camera involved. I never really posed, which kind of made it okay. And, well, I did say I would help with project, and photographs were part of the deal. At one point, in an effort to make me more comfortable, my buddy had me take a photograph of him. Queerly enough, that was the most awkward part of the whole process.

As we were doing this, he saying how he liked the camera. Photographs were honest things. The image they showed was how it was, warts, scars, wrinkles, and all. In a way, that's how I see mirrors. I am fascinated with reflections for that very reason.

Now, he mentioned self-image. How one can bring that to the reflective surface and distort the truth contained therein. Fair enough. However, there are ways and means to alter a photograph. Everything from the cast of light to giving the subject wings and horns.

But I caught myself meditating on the subject of self-image. That phantasm one sees of themself in their mind's eye. I found myself, somewhat amused, finding that even though I will comment upon my eyes, my self-image often lacks a face. It is just what I can see as I look out; arms, legs, hands, feet, a body, occasional wisps of hair. The only time I remember my face, or that I even have one, is when I get near a mirror.

How queer. Honestly. I guess I always knew this, but I honestly never thought about it until those conversations.

I am fascinated by appearances, facades, and perceptions because of what happened to me as a whelp. Not appearance as in one's way of dress. That's just fashion, which can change. No, the Voodoo mask. The self-image and what lies beneath.

As to which is more honest, a photograph or a reflection, I think is conjecture. Perception. A camera or a mirror may be objective in what it shows and views, but the eyes that takes it in are most likely not blessed with the same objectivity.

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