"I dream of a hard and brutal mysticism in which the naked self merges with the nonhuman world and somehow survives...Paradox and bedrock."-Edward Abbey

02 April 2014

Sitting in Judgment

I have often said the anarchy pin on my fine pinstripe jacket and the Free Tibet sticker on Old Scratch is the closest to I come to advertising my politics. Sometimes, I say my feelings on the subject can be summed up in the lyrics of a Queensryche song;

"Got no love for politicians
or that crazy scene in D.C.,
It's just a power mad town...
Who do you trust
When everyone's a crook?"

I've yet to decide if it's funny, cool, tragic, or outright horrifying that the song, twenty-five years after its release, is still relevant...

In town, it is joked that the government, even especially being mayor, is under the auspice of it's your turn-a fine and ideal form of democracy. Sabina will try to enrage me by saying saying I'll be mayor in a few years, and my reaction is generally sponsored by the letter fuck. Other times-when in the company of a lady and sometimes children-I am slightly more civil.

"My grandparents were the politicians."

One of my neighbors once took umbrage to my remark about politicians, but he was also running for town board. He said it was a matter of community. I bought him a drink and broke it down so we were friends again.

"I'm on the historical board, the museum committee, with your wife, and I'll be sitting in judgment at the election. I'm plenty involved in the community."

This coming from someone who does not consider themselves a joiner...

I was going to be all Northern Exposure-like for the gig, wearing my marrying, burying, and melodrama outfit, Just in case the shock and awe of my slumming the Hamill House had worn off. There were two problems with this, the first of which being I can only play dress-up for so long before I am wanting to flay my own skin off. Then there's matter of that anarchy pin, and one cannot be politicking at the polling place.

So I wore a Thai-print t-shirt with an effigy of Kuan Yin and a flannel. The bandanna I had on my head complemented the outfit nicely. I almost wore my Bad Brains t-shirt instead-the previous election it had been the Beatles-but given it was an image of their debut album cover, it could be taken as political.

Again, that whole politicking thing...

I do not consider myself judgmental in the slightest. Yet, every couple of years I catch myself sitting in judgment. Over politics, no less. Perhaps my hypocrisy knows no bounds. Then again, I've heard it said hypocrisy is the lubricant of political intercourse. The same could be said of institutionalized religion and corporations.

We were fed and played rummy in between voters. By default and the same maniacal cosmic humor which allowed for the giraffe and platypus, I was the head judge. It was a decent turn out for a town of roughly two-hundred, excluding squatters, dogs, and the ravens. My neighbor held an election party afterward, and, in a different show of civic duty, we rescued wine trapped in several bottles.

Hey, we saved the day...

Board members and the new mayor were congratulated and given condolences. The three of us who served as election judges were also thanked for our day-long penance. Another my neighbors told me she thought I did a lot around town and that made her happy. It made me feel kind of cool, given how misanthropic I can be. I made it home to sleep the sleep of the just, or the dead-one and the same. After all, sitting in judgment, even if it's only every two years, is rather exhausting.  


  1. You're a model for us all.....Hey! Wanna help me organize a Pat Paulsen for President campaign in '16?

    1. I was kind of hoping for a Henry Rollins, Bill Mahar ticket, actually. If nothing else, it'd make the debates interesting.

  2. So, as they say, some things skip a generation: Your grandparents...you. I think an anarchy pin would go nicely with a mayoral title... ;D

    1. Sabina, quit hacking people's logins to antagonize me. Not cool. Fucking woman. And, by the way;


      The only thing I do worse than follow is lead. However, I do have a brother and a sister, perhaps they can try their hands at playing Machiavelli.

  3. I think it would be an interesting "Welcome" sign for tourists. "You are now entering Irony, Colorado, where the bottled wine flows freely and the mayor wears an anarchy pin."

    1. Why didn't I see this until now? Sorry.

      True to fact; there is a town on the western slope called Paradox. When I heard of the place I told my friend Jezebel I wanted to move there just to be able to say; "it's just another day in Paradox."

      You can imagine how cross I was when she said; "of course you do..."